(3/3/09)
As I watched my fellow man fall asleep and drool over is sandwich at a table alone tonight, I got to thinking about the concept of reaching. So much of life comes to down to being near sighted or far sighted. Survival is not 24 hours long, but it can be lived as such, finding the end of the night as a representation of a sunset that was missed by our younger selves. 22 years old is to soon to be speaking in past tense, discussing all the things that were desired but can never be found again. I felt like life was different at 18, when everyone was trying to climb, and now I see a free fall where the first thing that can be grasped is the saving grace that gives legitimacy to staying put. There is so much more to taste, and missing the status quo is an apparent fear, but when rationalized, it disappears as quickly as it has consumed us. If you could have $50,000 cash or completely alter the course of someone's life for the better, which would you choose? We might take the cash because its easy, but if we were able to feel the alternative first the choice might be entirely different. You can't make love on the beach if you never get close to the ocean. So I guess the moral of the story is "Don't pass out while eating a sandwich in the town where you grew up", or for me its more like "Don't drink wine on a Tuesday or you might get philosophical." Either way, it is time to go to sleep...
(1/25/10)
Living life naturally inflicts pain on others. Even with the best of intentions, it is impossible to leave a neatly carved path and carry everyone else on it with you. Life is about choices, and without perfect information we are cursed to make some wrong and some right ones. Where control reasserts itself is when we have a chance to make judgments about others. Everyone is guilty of making snap assessments, and despite the fact that we are usually wrong, we continue to do it. The most beautiful people can come out of a past filled with pain and mistakes, and they forever carry what those times suggested. Indiscretions and transgressions put enough mental strain on the individual to the point where they don't need to feel it in the air around them in addition to their own torturous thoughts. Mistakes are often made in the search to find what no one else has discovered, and perhaps those who lose their way do so in an effort to find something more.
(12/23/09)
It is entirely accurate that the more you learn the less you know. Don't get me wrong, it is great to keep an open mind, but sometimes I feel like running water. I will go where you put me and stay there until you tell me to do something else. I hate that feeling. It is irritating to deal with people who think that they're always right, but sometimes I can't help but envy them. What a bliss it to be completely decisive and never second guess yourself. I feel like half of my life is chalked up to second guessing. Should I have ate that cheeto off the floor? Did I go to far when I told Jennifer Aniston exactly how I felt? What did it mean when my 6th grade teacher said I would be the next "white hope" in the NBA? (Okay that never happened...) Its nice to say that we live a life with no regrets, but we are human. Mistakes are natural. But dwelling on mistakes is a mistake in and of itself, so even if you've done things your not proud of, its important to try to make tomorrow a better day. And its also important not to stifle yourself by fearing other people's reactions. It is a difficult balance, and one that I hope to master someday. In the meantime I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas (or equivalent holiday), and that you get the Lexus with a red bow on it I keep seeing in the commercials. Jewelry, cell phones, and cars are the only true way to say you love someone ;). Or so it seems...
(12/3/09)
I can still remember driving to see my grandparents on Sunday afternoons. I am not the same person I was then, but it is still a part of me. At a moments notice I can snap back into what I was like, but it can never last. I have always adhered to the view that if you like who you are now, then it is hard to regret anything you've done in the past, but I've hurt a lot of people in recent years. I'm not proud of it. Everyone seems to be jaded now, and no one wants to give all of themselves away. You can only truly fall in love once, and then after that its a cost/benefit analysis. It only takes one experience of feeling completely foolish and taken advantage to make you want to keep parts of yourself hidden from view. And you can't fall in love without a frame of reference, so its quite the paradox. Does true love exist? I'll leave that up to someone else to decide, but I know that I can never be the kid in the backseat who can't wait to see Grandma and play a game of pool with Dad in the basement. She passed away and Dad can barely walk these days. It has been a rough year, and its hard to be up this late, my mind wanders. Its hard to stay the same in a world where people die and love isn't an obligation, but sometimes reality allows us to grow, and love harder than ever. It makes you appreciate the people who actually care, and helps you forget about the people who stop calling when you don't hit up the bars anymore. Superficial will always be superficial, and intimacy will always be intimacy. And the former can never take the place of the latter.
(8/23/09)
One would think that fourteen hours in the car with three other dudes and no radio would be unpleasant. Bu it was one of the most enjoyable experiences of my summer. Most of the conversations we had and the freestyle raps we made could never repeated but I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. The 45 minute show at Truman State took a backseat to how little we have grown up despite the fact that we are in our early 20s. We ended up staying at a Frat house again this time but it was a much different situation. The house was well maintained and there was actually a guy named Thomas from Minnesota there. He kept trying to pour us drinks but he was so far gone that most of his efforts ended up spilling on his hands. Nicest guys ever though, as opposed to the last place where they screamed at us at 5 am and the place smelled like piss. We're going to do it all again next weekend. Maybe we'll bring a video camera.
(8/20/09)
Call me crazy, but I'll never understand the relationship between crimes and the sentences handed out for them. Donte Stallworth drives drunk and kills a pedestrian, he is now in training camp with the Browns a few months later and will play the whole season. Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the leg at a nightclub and he'll be serving two years in prison. How does that make any sense? Circumstances only go so far in my mind. A person is dead because of Stallworth, Burress only hurt himself. I have always thought that crimes should have universal sentencing, and I've never understood the insanity plea. I don't care if you experienced insanity when you shot 3 people in a shopping mall. Either way you should never see the light of day again. If you are prone to having moments where you are capable of something like that, how should that lessen your sentence?
(8/16/09)
I just bought my textbooks...And I feel completely violated. Its a lot like walking around Disney land all day long and knowing that your going to eventually have to buy one of the $16 waters. The worst part is editions that came out a year or two before the current edition cost like 15 times less. Are you telling me that much has changed in a year? Pretty sure that there hasn't been a new form of Math invented that the older books just left out. College and Health care industries know that they have become a necessity so they've taken that power to drive their prices sky high. Why should the cost of school increase at like a jillion times higher rate than inflation? Don't ask me because I still don't have anti gravity boots and filet mignon waiting for me at every session. But I feel like I've paid for it....
(8/13/09)
I have a thought that drives me crazy. It is a question of whether everything we do is predestined. For example, if I was born in Jeffrey Dahmer's body and raised exactly like him, would I have resorted to killing and eating my fellow human beings. Of course in my head I would like to think that I wouldn't, but who knows. And along those lines I consider myself to be a religious person, but how can we all be judged on an equal playing field when some of us have had to go through way more stuff than others. I can't imagine believing in a God if I didn't have the ability to walk or see. That would be rough.... There is just so much I'll never know, and it eats me up like a waffle cone.
(4/18/09)
I get a kick out of the "get out of debt" commercials. People say with giant smiles on their faces "We owed over $100,000, but we only paid less than $15,000." Why don't they just walk out and say "We're the irresponsible dumbasses that are major causal factors of the horrible state that economy is currently in." I know that everyone needs a break, but don't be proud of it is all I'm saying. If I killed someone I wouldn't go on TV and be like "I was supposed to do 40 to life, but I was out in 5 years!"
(4/8/09)
There is something glamorous about being reckless. Popping a pill or taking a drink beyond what we know we can handle. It is natural to want to wrestle the bounds of our bodies. Heroes have problems. The difference is knowing when you've fallen to far and need to pull yourself back up. Too far gone doesn't exist. There is always a path back to homeostasis and equilibrium. But its best to stay near enough to the line so that you don't forget where it is. Otherwise you can become a different person entirely. Don't ever change my friends. It is the flaws in us that make us want to accomplish things that transcend our character. At the end of the day you are the one who has to look at yourself in the mirror and decide if you're truly wearing your face, or wearing a face for someone else.
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My name is Michael James Hynes, but a lot of people call me "Shynes." I was born in a Staples, Minnesota hospital room about 22 years ago and I'm still alive and kicking. My childhood was fairly typical. I loved to play sports and video games, and I was also a pretty decent student. A girl once broke up with me 9 times in the 6th grade alone. I don't know why that's relevant but it just popped into my head. Anyways, middle school turned into high school and I realized I was a middle of the road type of athlete, so I started exploring other things a little bit. My lack of a girlfriend and struggles to find my niche resulted in a lot of highs and lows. I remember getting cut from the basketball team like it was yesterday. That Coach Jordan was a real piece of work, and by that I mean dickhead, but I don't want to say dickhead, but my fear of saying dickhead has resulted in me typing it more than would have been originally necessary. I tried the whole "art" thing for a while and that was alright, I could draw pretty well but I painted like a seven year old. So I turned to my last resort, music. I had never really been in any choirs or sang at all but one day I just woke up and realized I could stay on pitch with my voice. So I started writing songs on the piano down in our family living room and recording them with a computer mic. I guess everything else has kind of stemmed from there. I still have no clue what I want to do with my life but I have realized that I love music. So I'm going to keep playing it until I am old and wrinkly. |
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i just wanna to say: GREAT JOB!!! i really love all your songs and i downloaded all of them; i wanna to say 
THANK YOU VERY MUCH 
